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Showing posts from October, 2017

One of those days

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Actually, one of those weeks.
When I have a lot to  smile about and all I want to do is cry
The good, bad and ugly occur simultaneously
What to do?
A dose of pleasure mixed with a portion of frustration
topped off with a shot of hope, garnished with fear
It is not well
I am well
My spirit is working overtime to fight this storm
The waves of negativity pounding my boat relentlessly
Rays of sunshine shoving their way in
'Lean into the discomfort' someone says
I don't know how


11 years on

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Kami will be turning 12 next month.
Over the years,I've met men  I've liked and would have enjoyed
exploring the attraction but they shut down when they find out I have a child.
A part of me gets it, opinions abound about single mothers, and it takes a lot (I guess)of
guts to rise above all that negativity and parent another man's child.
Another part gets frustrated each time I see the locks and nuts get bolted.

It happened again this weekend and it still irks me. Didn't mention her on the 1st date (a long time ago I gave myself permission to diverge/withhold any personal information as I see fit) and it slipped out soon after.
And because this ain't my first rodeo, I knew that was it.Still I hoped.
Now I don't know what to do with this bundle of negative feelings I'm stuck with.
I feel regret, annoyance, frustration.
To myself, why do I even bother?when will I learn to manage my expectations,
scrap them altogether even.
To him, just wish he'd just say …