Posts

Showing posts from 2013

#poetry

A friend has been posting a lot of Warsan Shire's poetry.
This piece hit home and made the tears come out of hibernation:

“How far have you walked for men who have never held your feet in their laps? How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
Why do you find the unavailable so alluring? Where did it begin? What went wrong? And who made you feel so worthless? If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you? All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they could not hear you, but they smelt it on you; you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin? And what about the others that would do anything for you? Why did you make them love you until you could not stand it? How are you both of these women; both flighty and needful? Where did you learn this ... to want what does not want you? Where did you learn this ... to leave those that want to stay?”
― Warsan Shire

#breakingmyownheart

So.....I like this guy.
And because life sucks,I have to give him up.
It's going be hard.
Think I'll put my heart on ice for a while after this.
Am hoping  the tears stay put.

In Memory

I used Mbagathi Way today and couldn't help the tears welling up when we passed the Montezuma Funeral Home.
I've been there twice this year.
For those who have left us this year,Pst Ann, Mso, Cucu, Daktari, Mike, Mose,  Uncle Ngugi&those gone years earlier,you aren't forgotten.
Rest In Peace

Shame on me

I found myself thinking  of when Westgate would be accessible so that I can go lay flowers for the fallen.
Was even planning on taking my daughter along so that she can also pay my respects.

I won't pretend to believe that 68 people died in that attack,but the thought of laying flowers never crossed my mind after the Sinai slums tragedy or Sachangwan.
In fact I remember thinking those   Kenyans were at fault.
I apologise.
For thinking of some lives as more important than others.
#ashamed.
And so today I pay tribute to the Kenyans whose deaths don't make headlines.
Like the 5 who died when that blast went off in Mathare,the hundreds who have died in senseless attacks in  Tana River, Moyale, Mandera ,Garissa and West Pokot.
And so help me God,to express and feel outrage for each and every innocent life that is snuffed out,whether I can relate to it or not.
Forgive me  for this Animal Farm mentality,that all animals are equal but some are more equal than others.

And like  Sunny B…

#We are one

I love that slogan.
Truly we are one.
And as my friend Betty joked on facebook,Kenyans:divided by Kenyans,united by terrorists.

My heart is bleeding for our children.In their era,they don't have to battle disease,poverty,paedophiles,
lies and half truths peddled by the internet,false teachings,two faced role models,they have added terrorists
to the list.

On Saturday,Kenyans were up in arms on the coverage of the hostage situation.And of course Sunday Nation's unprofessional,unethical,unclever front page.
All in  race to be the one who broke the story.
Sometimes our media houses remind me of matatu drivers-who drive carelessly and dangerously as if they were not in the vehicle should anything happen to it.
You'd think the media houses reports wouldn't affect them and their loved ones.As if they  don't live here.
I hope the outrage and disgust by Kenyans will serve as a wake-up and they will review their practices.

There's a popular expression that if you point a…

Maziwa

Of course I have a lot to say and am finding it easier to write it out in my head.
Milk prices have gone up and we're all crying foul.
The Cordashians are out with their guns blazing and am sure the Unga/Maziwa
revolution is gearing up for a piece of the action.
When we passed the new constitution,we didn't question where the  money for the new
structures was coming from.
So I say,brace yourselves,it ain't over yet.

in His hands

Yesterday I went for Piano and Voice,Great show by Kanji and Aaron. Before I left  town ,I had coffee with my friend Ann . She pointed out that such gigs are the places to meet men of substance. I didn’t so maybe better luck next time????           That conversation crossed my mind though at some point and looking around my eyes fell on the women present. Beautiful  women, wearing flawless makeup, not a hair out of place .Clutching handbags which matched the outfits and heels. It occurred to me, the men in Nairobi are spoilt for choice. And if we are to date and marry the men we prefer,men with depth,who are curious about life,men who pause and question the wheres, hows and whys of mankind’s existence, only God can bring us to  notice each other. It’s no use wanting to dress, talk ,act like so and so in order to get a man like she got. It’s not about practicing all those tips  on the Saturday magazine article on how to get a rich man. It’s about God, or fate(if you prefer)making you…

Expectationless

So much has happened since April,the last time I wrote here#sigh
There goes the declarations and resolutions
I'm not making any more promises,especially to myself.
No expectations,I like.
Let's see where this road leads

My 1st fridge

I learnt today that white fridges are cheaper.Apparently because they stain.
I was already buying the cheapest range in that store,didn't want to buy the cheapest
of the cheap.
To date,it is the most expensive household appliance in my house.
And I had to immortalise that by writing this.
Here's to (humble) beginings

Prof's assasination

This always happens to me,I'm here to write something then I get derailed by the Oatmeal.The one site where am sure I will always get a laugh.

On Monday KTN aired Jicho Pevu,an investigative journalism show.This particular show was on the assassination of Prof George Saitoti,Minister of Internal Security at the time of his death.
There was a huge outcry on social media about how Kenya is run mafia style,the impunity and how public officers seemingly protect the perpetrators.

As  I have said before,the behaviour of the guys at the top is a reflection of what the ordinary mwenyenchi  does.
How many times have we defended a rapist/thief/paedophile because they are family?
We don't warn girl/boyfriends,fiancees of their partner's violence,infidelity,addiction to alcohol,gambling etc.
We do not even mention the children and/or previous wives.
All in the name of protecting our own.
Therefore,as you point fingers at the NSIS,CID and Kenya Police,reflect on the cover ups you have …

Day 1

My trip to the gym has been long overdue,years overdue in fact.
I finally managed to convince my legs to take me today.
It was an experience,not as bad as I expected to be honest.
And time will tell......
One thing I learnt though,when I say,let me sleep for 5  minutes and the trainer tells me
I have to go on the bike  for 5 minutes ,we're talking about a different 5 minutes.

Here is my prayer for you…

We were reminded in church that today is Mothering Sunday.
I would like to dedicate this prayer to my Mum,my daughter's many mothers and fellow mothers.

I pray for all that you do, may it be within God's plans for you. I pray that you walk in the truth and that God fills your heart with dreams and give you courage, courage to dare do things that those before you did not dare do. I pray that passion be the wind that leads you through your days and conviction keeps you strong and guide you all the way.

I pray that God grants you enough wisdom to know the difference between his will and your will. I pray that your life be filled with moments that make your life so sweet and enjoyable. I pray for your spiritual, financial and emotional needs to be fully met. I pray that hope be the ray that ushers you to a new day, faith the sunshine that warms and lights your day and joy the pillow you lay your head on every night.

But above all I pray that y…

Being Kenyan

I have just been on facebook,a day after Uhuru Kenyatta was name Kenya's 4th president elect.There is a lot of emotion going on there,some people are taking the loss/victory very personally and venting .
I am glad that they are not the Kenyan media,we would have killed each other by now.

I read somewhere that leaders are a reflection of the people they govern.Am therefore not surprised by Raila Odinga's decision to petition the results in the Supreme Court.We Kenyans are sore losers.

Life hosts a myriad of losses-jobs,finances,relationships,looks,influence to name but a few.
The Kenyan reasons for this include but aren't limited to sabotage,jealousy,withcraft,nepotism,tribalism,
sex,bribery,corruption,historical injustices and the new kid on the block,generational curses.

No Kenyan is ever unqualified for a job or promotion,nervous during a presentation,drifts apart in a relationship,has poor communication and people skills.
 Perhaps I should consult a sociologist for the…

On getting your own man

It's over

It's not working out,this relationship am in. am pretty sure he's not happy either.
We barely talk of late and the conversations are the same:how are you,how is ur family,how was your day then blank.
I will miss him,he was sweet and kind but it wasn't enough.
Obviously one of the don'ts is not to dump him over the phone,I know that much but how do I look him in the eye and tell him it's over?