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Showing posts from May, 2012

Long Weekend

Yeey!Madaraka day,June 1st-the day that my beloved country Kenya attained self rule is tomorrow,a Friday.
Am not coming back to the office till Monday.
What I hear-sleep,rest,relax,sleep,rest,relax,sleep,rest,relax for three consecutive days.

What it actually means-Wake up early to prepare food for Mum's visitors,host two dozen children for Andrew's birthday,attend a baby shower,go out for drinks,travel to Nakuru for a family getogether,cook,clean up,stay up all night trying to bond with strangers,not sleep or sleep uncomfortably on a strange bed,wake up early,make breakfast,clean up,travel from Nakuru,supervise homework,work on a presentation due on Monday

Little sleep,no relaxation,no rest-the joys of a long weekend.

Jana's Attack

According to the Daily Nation,33 people were admitted at Kenyatta National Hospital after the blast at Assanands House,along Moi Ave yesterday.
My mother called me to confirm I was still alive,my office is along Moi Avenue and I watched the live reporting on NTV.

My thinkings;

The NTV anchor kept apologizing to the viewers for showing graphic images without prior warning and her main excuse was it was a live feed and therefore couldn't censor any images. Which we all know is a load of hogwash.Sensational journalism.

If I were a terrorist in Kenya,I would detonate the explosives in two phases.Blow my target-Phase 1. Blow the crowd-Phase 2
And Phase 2 would guarantee more casualties.
Running towards a crime scene must be one of  Kenyans' peculiar habits  Michael Joseph was talking about.

Sighting of  electrical wires on the ground is enough reason to blame the electricity company for an explosion.Mathew Itere,please explain,with diagrams.

'Any publicity is good publicity'…

For Ann

My gal Ann bought me a cake-on her birthday.I have googled poems about friendship
and the last two verses of Henry David Thoreau's Friendship come close

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,
Withstand the winter's storm,
And spite of wind and tide,
Grow up the meadow's pride,
For both are strong

Above they barely touch, but undermined
Down to their deepest source,
Admiring you shall find
Their roots are intertwined
Insep'rably.


Therefore I have decided to resuscitate my poetry skills;

Looking back over my shoulder,
pleasant shock at how many miles we have covered.
A river of gratitude snakes through me.
I call you friend.
Your faith has navigated me through
many a storm.
The hours and years  you have lent your ear,
Many words of wisdom and unwisdom that have dried my tears
and birthed laughter.
For the hugs,smiles,welcome silence, unsaid
I told you sos'
Unwavering loyalty,contagious enthusiasm and uncaged
optimism,
I appreciate.

CC:Bosse,Mshai,Wanda,Rose,Iren…

Puzzled

Bumped into these brainteasers yesterday

1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
2. A clerk at a butcher shop stands five feet ten inches tall and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billie was born on December 28th, yet her birthday always falls in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In British Columbia you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
9. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg is white” or “The yolk of the egg are white?”
10. A farmer has five haystacks in one field and four haystacks in another. How many haystacks wo…

Tuesday Monday blues

I wasn't in the office yesterday so today feels like a Monday.Once upon a time I din't mind Monday.In fact my dislike for it is purely through peer pressure-everybody badmouthing this one day ,the Bangles even  singing about it

My colleague Nkatha once told us Monday is her favourite day of the week,of course this was followed by a lecture on attitude.Don't remember the case she made for it  but at the time it was convincing.

Then one of those newsletters making their way into my inbox had this;

What's your favorite day of the week?

For most people, it's Saturday.

Sundays stink because we dread going back to
work on Monday. Wednesday is "hump" day -
halfway to the weekend. We say TGIF (Thank God
it's Friday!) because it's the last day of work.

Saturday is the only day we universally like!

But fully enjoying only ONE day a week? That's
nuts


I din't attend the webinar and am now thinking maybe I shoud have.Having Monday blues al…

Rain time

It was drizzling when I was having my lunch and one of the waitress wished it wouldn't rain then.Her fairy godmother must have been listening because her wish was granted.
It's 1714hrs  now and the heavens have opened.
Which makes me wonder,when is the right time for rain?
Am sure today some people will get home after 2-5 hours trafficsitting and/or pay five to tenfold of their usual fare.
Depending on where you live in Nairobi,raining at night means a night vigil since the cold,zero visibility and rain music are break in fertile ground.
We have all experienced rainy mornings-sitting in traffic for hours,0.5-two fold increase in fares,splashing by speeding drivers,detours because of mini-pools on the route,being late for work etc etc
And the mid-morning,early afternoon fall-slow internet ,splashy drivers and taking  3 hours to get to a place that usually takes 20 minutes,black-out,no lunch deliveries etc
How did those rain manufacturers in China come up with 3.00pm???????????…

Weight sex theories

I have put on some weight. The people commenting most about it are acquaintances and annoyingly, all the reasons they are putting forth(yes, they tell you how big you’ve become and follow it up with the reason behind it)have to do with my sex life.
Starting with the least annoying: 1)Contraceptives-this is usually phrased as’Kana ni famiry iria urahuthira? Is it the family planning method you are using
The proponents of this theory then start discussing the effects of various contraceptives and start casting glances at my upper arms. 2)Sperm-allegedly,sperm makes women put on weight(should google that one) and this has been phrased as’kuna vitu anapatiwa sasa’ there are some things she’s getting now(meaning sperm) followed by’mzee anakupatia sawasawa’Your  man is giving it to you good

3)Are you pregnant?At least all the other theories don’t quite expect a response from me
‘Umekuwa mkubwa!ama hauko peke yako’ You have become so big!Or you are not alone(read pregnant) or ‘hiyo tumbo yako, uko …