Waaringa

I'm trying to recall the time my girlfriends and I were having a conversation on how handsome Kenyan men are. Hmmmmmmmhhh........never. I do recall discussing Rwandese men and sighing  when in Kigali,wishing the eye candy would be available here in Nairobi. Which is why I'm wondering-when did the men in Nairobi get so good looking? In the past few weeks,it has come to my attention  there are quite a number of head turning,or at least second look worthy menfolk in these streets of Nairobi. Was I blind before?is it really a new phenomena?is it a revolution?something in the water perhaps? Whatever the reason,I'm glad this has caught my eye

When walking from church yesterday,my friend George told us about a group of thugs that raided a block of flats near our neighborhood.They stole household items and raped several women. We all paused for a moment,unable to comprehended the pain those families are those going through. Thieves broke into my house last February and I remember how horrified I was,couldn't sleep for days afterwards and eventually had to move.And I was unharmed. I shudder to imagine what the double violation  is doing to those women.And the men who had to witness the ordeals. Sadly,most violent crimes in Kenya nowadays include rape. Even sadder,is the countless number of men,women,girls and boys who are continually molested by their partners,neighbours,friends and relatives. Who do these survivors report to?what's their support system? which services are available?why are we burying our heads in the sand in regards to sodomy?and how do we reduce this pandemic?

Finally we have a "prominent "Kenyan who has opened the closet doors and declared he's gay. Kudos Binyavanga Wainaina. Still,he fits into the stereotypical  Kenyan gay-bright flashy clothes&hairdo,living /has lived abroad and a creative.And of course middle class or rich. In fact Ciku Muiruru joked something along the lines   'As if the coloured hair and bright jacket didn't tell us already" I wonder how the poor, bodybuilding gay is faring.

Am patting myself on the back for posting this early in the year. What a start!can't remember the last time I was this broke. I'm celebrating a budding business,a daughter who's in class 3,acceptance to a fellowship, Mum accepting my hairstyle(long story),forgiveness& a 20 yr friendship. And this year,may I truly live. The shackles are off. Here's to 2014

A friend has been posting a lot of Warsan Shire's poetry. This piece hit home and made the tears come out of hibernation: “How far have you walked for men who have never held your feet in their laps? How often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short? Why do you find the unavailable so alluring? Where did it begin? What went wrong? And who made you feel so worthless? If they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you? All this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they could not hear you, but they smelt it on you; you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin? And what about the others that would do anything for you? Why did you make them love you until you could not stand it? How are you both of these women; both flighty and needful? Where did you learn this ... to want what does not want you? Where did you learn this ... to leave those that want to stay?” ― Warsan Shire

So.....I like this guy. And because life sucks,I have to give him up. It's going be hard. Think I'll put my heart on ice for a while after this. Am hoping  the tears stay put.

I used Mbagathi Way today and couldn't help the tears welling up when we passed the Montezuma Funeral Home. I've been there twice this year. For those who have left us this year,Pst Ann, Mso, Cucu, Daktari, Mike, Mose,  Uncle Ngugi&those gone years earlier,you aren't forgotten. Rest In Peace