Kenyan Wives
It is obviously in bad taste that the late Orwa Ojonde's brother wrote to the Speaker asking for a share of the Ksh 20m.According to him,he was a dependant of his late brother and is entitled to a share of the compensation .He also cited that Mrs Ojonde was not talking to him or any of his relatives.
I don't blame her for the silence.
In most Kenyan societies,it is preferable for the wife to die before the husband.
Upon the death of the husband,his relatives are usually quick to point fingers to the widow.She is almost always to blame for the death,directly or indirectly.
Next is the scramble for his property,this ranges from the furnishings in the home,clothes, funeral contribution to his pension.
Growing up as a girl in Africa,one is always aware of the temporary stay in her father's house.There are sayings,riddles,proverbs that remind you that one day you will leave your family,get married and get a new family.Parents who refuse to educate their female children often use this rationale.They claim it is making an investment from which someone else(read husband and his family) will reap the benefits.
Then when you get married,you are perceived to have benefited,after all he chose you among countless other women.This perception is worse if he is more educated and/or from a higher social class.
This lie is perpetuated to the woman from everyone,her family and friends,his family and friends,the community around them until eventually she believes it.Many married women stay in abusive marriages because they are 'lucky'to have been chosen.
The society then greatly undermines and undervalues the wife's contribution to her husband's life.Worse if she is a house wife.
Therefore when he dies,society feels her entitlement to his propery/benefits is proportionate to her contribution,which is very little.
And that is where the Late Ojonde's brother is coming from.
I don't blame her for the silence.
In most Kenyan societies,it is preferable for the wife to die before the husband.
Upon the death of the husband,his relatives are usually quick to point fingers to the widow.She is almost always to blame for the death,directly or indirectly.
Next is the scramble for his property,this ranges from the furnishings in the home,clothes, funeral contribution to his pension.
Growing up as a girl in Africa,one is always aware of the temporary stay in her father's house.There are sayings,riddles,proverbs that remind you that one day you will leave your family,get married and get a new family.Parents who refuse to educate their female children often use this rationale.They claim it is making an investment from which someone else(read husband and his family) will reap the benefits.
Then when you get married,you are perceived to have benefited,after all he chose you among countless other women.This perception is worse if he is more educated and/or from a higher social class.
This lie is perpetuated to the woman from everyone,her family and friends,his family and friends,the community around them until eventually she believes it.Many married women stay in abusive marriages because they are 'lucky'to have been chosen.
The society then greatly undermines and undervalues the wife's contribution to her husband's life.Worse if she is a house wife.
Therefore when he dies,society feels her entitlement to his propery/benefits is proportionate to her contribution,which is very little.
And that is where the Late Ojonde's brother is coming from.
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