Betrayal




 I celebrated my 4th birthday in Uganda on Monday.
With an old friend and his friends, which was special in many ways.
Later someone asked me what I was celebrating.
And  it's many things, being here -alive, learning , growing , thriving .
The theme for 2018 for me has been learning.
 And my(now) favourite has been learning how to handle betrayal.
Distance -physical and emotional , venting and perspective helped me process.
The relationships are  cracked and no amount of remodeling will hide the rupture.
And I'm finally okay with that.
Will cherish the times we had and the enormous impact they had on me.
One of the toughest things to do was to shush the pain and hurt, refuse it to cloud everything.
Next was fighting to own and take this as a reflection of me. Still struggling with that

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