I'm weathering the grief.

At time it's a wave. A smell, picture, memory sets off the
ripple. The build up is slow and it ebbs in and out .
The constancy makes it easy to bear.

The lighting strikes out of nowhere.
I can be at work, typing an email and suddenly, I'm
in tears, hands shaking, wailing  and crumbling on the inside.
The wounds is pierced afresh , the pain sharp and deep.
It helps that I have my own office where I can sit this out

Fog is the commonest and it carries me effortlessly .
I'm a battery that need charging all the time.
Eating, getting up, interacting with others takes 10x more energy than usual.
The pain is a dull constant ache humming in the background.

The cloud is the hardest to bear. It drizzles a steady stream of pain. Everywhere, including
my hair hurts.
The umbrella is sleep

May your soul keep resting in peace Master Matindi  wa Ng'ang'a  .
You are missed


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