Waaringa

This week has been a mixed bag of emotions. Despair and frustration walked in holding hands with excitement and hope . My gratitude practice has buoyed me and here are some of the things I'm grateful for: - Ability to read and write - A comfortable bed - Sleep - Tears - Ripe sweet bananas - Mercy's visit - Grace's birthday - Kayak The Nile - Data - Whats app - Live music - Neighbours What are you grateful for?

My blogging and journal-ling patterns are good markers on the stress levels in my life. I barely wrote last month. Putting my thoughts down gives me joy and yet I avoid it when I most need it. There must be a German word for that. The sea in Feb was rough and I'm glad the storm has somewhat passed. This March I'm hoping to land on an island and lie on the beach enjoying cocktails for a little while.

I've always known books are able to shape one's perception of people and cultures. It's hard to track it in my own life, cannot see the log in my eye after all. I learnt exactly how much last week. Living in Uganda, I often get asked which Kenyan tribe I belong to. Was asked this last week ,said Kikuyu and thought nothing of it. A few days later, the enquirer told me he assumed I was circumcised . He thought this because he read about it in  Ngugi Wa Thiongo's The River Between. I've never thought this would be a trait tied to my tribal identity and it was refreshing to learn a new stereotype to my ethnicity. It wasn't off the mark. My grandmother was circumcised and Central Kenya has an estimated 16.5% FGM prevalence rate . I now can't help but wonder what stereotypes I'm harbouring from my love of books.

I love reading. Actually I'm addicted to reading. I MUST read -articles, books ,reports you name it. In 2018, managed to read 44 books and here are my top 10 favourite; Fiction: 1) Kintu  -Jeniffer Makumbi 2) Stay with me - Ayobami Adebayo 3) The Power -Naomi Alderman 4) Pachinko   - Min Jin Lee 5) Taste of Mel  -Wanjiru Ndung'u Non Fiction: 6) We need more wine - Gabrielle Union 7) Weapons of math destruction -  Cathy O'Neil 8) Everybody Lies - Seth Stephens 9) How to change your mind - Michael Pollan 10) Unlocking Potential -Michael K Simpson

At this time last year, I had no idea that my daughter would start high school in a different country or that I'd be leaving Jinja and moving to Kampala for a job in a  different field. Or would read 44 books 😊 That's life for you- full of surprises. 2019 has started on a high personal note- Kami and I ushered in the new year in Jinja  with my cousin and her daughter. They left on Friday morning and my friend  Christine and her colleagues arrived a few hours later. It feels good to have a full house. Let's see what the  rest of the year brings

One of my pet peeves is when someone gets in touch and accuses me of being quiet. 'Umenyamaza(You're silent) is a common Kenyan phrase. If I had promised to get in touch and failed, remind me . If we've been in regular contact and the conversation fizzled out, then say hallo. Do not get on your high horse and patronize me. I appreciate you noticed the silence and decided to do something about it . Keep judgement out of it

 I celebrated my 4th birthday in Uganda on Monday. With an old friend and his friends, which was special in many ways. Later someone asked me what I was celebrating. And  it's many things, being here -alive, learning , growing , thriving . The theme for 2018 for me has been learning.  And my(now) favourite has been learning how to handle betrayal. Distance -physical and emotional , venting and perspective helped me process. The relationships are  cracked and no amount of remodeling will hide the rupture. And I'm finally okay with that. Will cherish the times we had and the enormous impact they had on me. One of the toughest things to do was to shush the pain and hurt, refuse it to cloud everything. Next was fighting to own and take this as a reflection of me. Still struggling with that