Wanted: Love

April -June 2020, Kampala had a 9 week Covid -19 Lockdown.
I walked, baked and basked in my thoughts.
Hadn't realised how much of a distraction work is.
When I didn't have much of it, was gifted with time
to take a look at the woman in the mirror.
I love her: is ecstatic of who she is and how she has shaped and
being shaped by her  journey.
She is happy with her choices, proud of the inner and outer life she has
She now realises wanting romantic love is neither a weakness nor
a far fetched dream.
She's human and desires to experience life in all it's fullness.
Her choices of love and lovers in the past are a testament of her
faith and courage. The lessons: good, bad and ugly are an integral
part of the rich tapestry of her life.
And without knowing how and when the next love will be, she has
promised to show up; scars be damned.

The weekend

It's Sunday 1446hrs.
This weekend I've finished reading Love works, started re-reading The Prophet,
done yoga, gone for a 1hr walk, whittled the tabs on my phone from 50 to 14,
read and listened to poetry, drank wine, caught up with family, slept and napped to
my heart's content and had an enjoyable didn't-want-to-end whisky date.

All things that brought me joy and fed my soul.
Guess what I'm feeling now?
Crazy, right?
I'm feeling guilty that I haven't done any work related stuff.
When I prioritise and feed into me, the residue feeling is guilt
When I focus on work, to the detriment of my health and happiness,
the feeling is accomplishment.Obviously, I have a lot to learn ,unlearn and relearn.
In case this happens to you as well, you're not alone.
We shall overcome.
Remember, we're all a work in progress.

Quora Gems

Every so often I come across gems on Quora .
Here's one that I shared with a friend in July last year.
Can't find the original post and it's worth preserving and sharing
How do you learn to love yourself in order to overcome being needy in relationships and have healthy relationships?
There is a developmental concept in child psychology called object permanence. It’s the understanding that objects in the world continue to exist even if we cannot see or hear or touch or smell them.
All healthy humans develop this understanding within the first two years of their lives.This is the entire concept behind the game of peek-a-boo. It’s funny for toddlers because when you hide your face behind your hands, the child literally thinks you have disappeared. You’ve ceased to exist. (1895 Painting by Georgios Lakovidis)We grow to realize that the world does not function that way.Even if I cannot see the building across from my house, I know it’s there. I wouldn’t feel the need to consta…

Solar Podcast

I enjoy podcasts.
Here's me talking to Distributing Solar about my work.

Hallo July

One of the things that June has taught me is to own and seize my
joy when it is found.
Which is harder than it sounds when surrounded by such pain and dismay.
Still we rise

Dad was a florist and would bring fresh uncut flowers home every week.
I have fond memories of arranging them and during Lockdown, I promised myself to
start buying them when I could.
Such a small price for a huge load of happiness.

I taught Kami and Andrew to bake and on the #DayoftheAfricanChild2020,
came home to this yummy home made bread.
My heart was bursting at the seams with joy.

 I love food and is grateful to live in fertile Uganda, one of the few African
countries without food insecurity.
At (almost)every corner there's a fresh foods vendor, one of the many blessings
I'm counting today.

Here's a prayer for you and me (by Grace R Biamah)
May the weather be sane, diseases be gone, children be manageable
work be sensible, fun be plentiful and life be enjoyable.

Happy July to us  xoxo

9 weeks

We resumed work last week after being in Lockdown for 9 weeks.
It’s been a tough season and glad some light is flickering ahead;
hopefully the end of this tunnel.
Our core business is solar installations which means
 the restrictions on movement put the company on hold.
April was notable tough, we generated zero revenue.

Here’s a few lessons I’ve learnt:

i) The importance of a cheering squad -I’ve had a number of friends,
partners, mentors, family holding my hand and encouraging me .
They’ve shared resources, opportunities, information, laughter
and most importantly hope. They lightened my load immeasurably
and I’m grateful for them.

ii) Hard decisions are mostly hard in my head. Making tough choices
 was easier than I’d anticipated. We managed to reduce our monthly
expenses by 54%. The conversations and negotiations that’d have had
me breaking in hives in early March were surprisingly easier when I had no choice.

iii) Tough seasons are learning seasons. I know much mo…

May 2020

George's 1st anniversary is on Monday
Nikki died yesterday.
And in these Covid -19 times, we're walking on death shells.
What to do?
We hurt, we grieve, we mourn
We regret texts not returned and phone calls un-answered
We remember conversations and moments
We struggle to say goodbye and to believe this is it.
Surely, this cannot be it.
We need one more day, one more time
To savor the friendship and bask in their presence
To see, to touch, to feel
Death, your sting f**king hurts