Showing posts from September, 2020

Shame and Love

 I finally admitted to myself and the world that I want love. Which was harder than expected. And this gem of a post made me realise one of the important reasons why. The dominant residue feeling from my past romantic relationships is/ was shame. She hit the multiple nails ob the head for me and my girls. Tonnes of shame have been lifted off our shoulders  Here's some of the Bull's eyes: One of the saddest things about growing up in our culture is that we’re taught to associate unrequited feelings with shame But when situations get murky and confusing, women are usually the ones who helpfully soak up all the ambient shame in the room. So stop soaking up all of the ambient shame in the room. Picture it rolling off you onto the floor. It doesn’t belong to you, so it can’t stick. If you want to love and be loved, the very best thing you can do is to stop looking for feedback from others about how lovable or shameful you are, and build your own religion around how you dese

Wanted: Love

    April -June 2020, Kampala had a 9 week Covid -19 Lockdown. I walked, baked and basked in my thoughts. Hadn't realised how much of a distraction work is. When I didn't have much of it, was gifted with time to take a look at the woman in the mirror. I love her: is ecstatic of who she is and how she has shaped and being shaped by her  journey. She is happy with her choices, proud of the inner and outer life she has cultivated. She now realises wanting romantic love is neither a weakness nor a far fetched dream. She's human and desires to experience life in all it's fullness. Her choices of love and lovers in the past are a testament of her faith and courage. The lessons: good, bad and ugly are an integral part of the rich tapestry of her life. And without knowing how and when the next love will be, she has promised to show up; scars be damned.