Shame and Love
I finally admitted to myself and the world that I want love.
Which was harder than expected.
And this gem of a post made me realise one of the important reasons why.
The dominant residue feeling from my past romantic relationships is/ was shame.
She hit the multiple nails ob the head for me and my girls.
Tonnes of shame have been lifted off our shoulders
Here's some of the Bull's eyes:
One of the saddest things about growing up in our culture is that we’re taught
to associate unrequited feelings with shame
But when situations get murky and confusing, women are usually the ones who
helpfully soak up all the ambient shame in the room.
So stop soaking up all of the ambient shame in the room. Picture it
rolling off you
onto the floor. It doesn’t belong to you, so it can’t stick.
If you want to love and be loved, the very best thing you can do is to stop looking
for feedback from others about how lovable or shameful you are, and build your
own religion around how you deserve love and respect and you’re going to
circumnavigate shame at every turn. The pain of heartbreak isn’t actually so
terrible, once you subtract shame from the picture.
If you have the courage to stand up for love, to give your love
to lead by example, to throw your love out there without worrying about
who loves you back, then do that. Let someone else hang back and feel ashamed.
That’s not you. You greet the sky with open arms. You embrace whatever comes next.
That’s how love finds you.