In Love


Early 2013,I  broke it off with Frank  and locked up my heart. At the time, I would have described it as being careful.

I started dating in April this year and  a  friend sent me the above quote when I told her .I didn't like it then and certainly don't now.It rang too true.
My heart was safe, for 3 years, possibly longer.It hibernated and I cruised along just fine.
It's now  awakening and I'm not fine.
I've now been dating for 3 months and my friends expect a happy answer when they ask how it's going.
Thing is, I don't have one to give.
My heart is stirring from it's slumber and it's painful, uncomfortable and difficult.
My default setting is run.
I hadn't realised that I thought love is a weakness and reprogramming my thinking is an uphill task.

And herein, I'm discovering the power of vulnerability.Especially with myself.
This is the first time in my life I'm looking into the mirror and facing my scars, appreciating how they've shaped me, embracing them and seeing beyond them.
Sometimes I like what I see, sometimes I don't.
It gets ugly, at times.Mostly when my ego gets involved.

I'm still a work in progress.
Will let you know how it goes.







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