Waaringa

My mentor,Rosie told me something  that I'm trying to adapt this year: 'if it doesn't work for you,dump it' Very liberating statement. Unfortunately, hard to practice. Especially because I've realised I'm a hoarder. An emotional hoarder. I hold onto too many  memories,relationships and emotions , way past their expiry date. And obviously,behind this is fear and comfort. Fear of rejection and the unknown. Comfort of the familiar I had coffee with my good friend Chris in March. She said she' trimming the fat' Anything and anyone that's unhealthy for her, she's trimming. It's 4th May 2016,  it's about time I dumped and trimmed.

 Yesterday I learnt the statement  ' This too shall pass ' is not in the Bible. I'm sure I've heard a preacher quote it is  and have probably said it myself. Made me wonder how many other things I'm wrong/ ignorant  about.  Today I was filling in a survey that answered my question.Many things. * 3 . How would you describe your gender identity? (Select all that apply)  *If you are not familiar with the term “cisgender,” it refers to people who identify as the gender they were assigned at birth. Agender Bigender ...

Proverbs 18:24b-There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I thought I had the flu-was running a slight fever and feeling weak. Took a day off,expecting it to clear and I would go back to work. What followed was a misdiagnosis, admission to 3 different hospitals, a blood transfusion, countless injections and worse pain than giving birth. It was a miracle I made it. Through all this,Elena was steadfast. She was my rock-I know I wouldn't have made it without her. I now know she cried constantly,fought for me and was thoroughly overwhelmed. There are incidences and hours that I do not recall. She,however,was the constant through it all. Being sick is hard, in a foreign land  it's a hundred times worse. Elena,became the bridge between my family and me. She comforted and reassured both parties. Thank you seems inadequate,but for now it'll have to do. I'll be forever indebted to her-my knightress in shining armour. Thank you Elena

It's been 2 months, 3 weeks and 2 days since I moved in. Long enough to bump into people I know at most of the public places I go to. Which is a pleasant surprise. Some of the  things I like: #Dress school uniforms. I went to a girls boarding high school in Kenya and I know of only 1 school(then) where the female students wore dresses. In most primary schools,girls wore dresses,then switched to skirts in high school.They also wear trousers now. I therefore noticed the high school girls in dresses here. I discovered dresses 3 years ago and I wish I had that choice in high school. #The street food.What an array of choices. The street behind our office comes alive from 5,when we lock up. Chicken,liver,samosas,milk,Food(matoke,rice, posho,cassava,pumpkin,sweet and irish potatoes) maize,fish,chip,mandazis ,chapi,rolex.........spoilt for choice. And at fair prices too. #Men with children. In my life,I've seen the most of  men  accompanied by  children in the ...

On this day, 6 years ago,I was sitting at my desk at work when Wangari, my small sister called me. We had left the house earlier together;I was headed to work,she went to the hospital to take care of Dad. I'd called her an hour earlier,to confirm he was alive.He was. When I saw her number on my caller ID,I knew. She was crying,yet her voice was strong,as she told me what I knew,yet dreaded to hear. I called my favourite cousin,Sarah and she started to cry.I quickly hang up. Next on my list was my colleague,Carol. Within 15 minutes,I was out of the door and headed to South B. I'd texted my close friends. I refused to answer any calls,it was the only way to hold in the tears. He was still lying in his hospital room when I arrived. He was warm. Mum,Wambui and Ng'ang'a,my other siblings were there. His brother,Uncle Jeff , My cousins Anthony,Hinga, Eda and Pastor Ann were also present. My tears were prompted by Wambui and Anthony's tears. The  taxi had ...

I have come to love sleep because I get to spend time with her. She looks like me,talks like me and is usually hanging around  the people I know. Sometimes,I'm tempted to think she's me. On taking a closer look,I change my mind. I envy her courage She forges her own paths   She makes decisions based on her own happiness She isn't bogged down by her obligations I envy her freedom She has unshackled the chains of society's expectations She uses the box she was supposed to fit in as a waste bin I envy her love Her heart self heals She proudly displays her scars on her trophy cabinet In her eyes,everyone is innocent until proven guilty I envy her. The woman I dream  to be 

I started a new job day before yesterday.Sept 1st 2015.Yeey. An answered prayer. I have been on my knees for a long time for this one. It's a short term contract and might not get renewed due to funding challenges. So on Day 2,I started worrying about my job prospects in Jan 2016. I know. Ridiculous,isn't it? Here I am. With all the boxes checked from my 'This is the job I want' list Job outside Kenya-tick Work in a small office-tick Engaging men&boys-tick School and Community mobilisation-tick Conduct Trainings-tick And I wasn't savouring and enjoying it. I was wondering about bloody January 2016. And I know I'm not the only one. Behaving like a child with a treat-enjoying it for a few minutes, then putting it aside and wondering when the next one is coming along. So,today,I had a meeting with myself and decreed that I will enjoy my time here That  I will appreciate this opportunity to learn. That I will endevour to be the best train...