Waaringa

I saw a friend's tweet about  YearCompass  and decided to try it. What a treat.  It was a great way to put 2017 in perspective and put on paper my hopes for 2018. One of the things I want in 2018 is love. And looking back in 2017, I think my heart and brain have ,for the most part, made up. They're no longer fighting about who gets to stay and who goes. At least not too much. From walking away  from a guy who made me feel I had to compete with others, firmly shutting the door on an ex, dancing the night away with a crush , a nyama choma and reggae date, it was a good year. Barely any regrets . Think I'm on my way to getting the love I deserve .

My friend Susan visited me in Jinja in Dec and it was awesome. Both of us are single, want  romantic love  and we chambuad  (delved deeply) our current state. The reasons are personal and outrageous. One of the decisions we made was to take more risks when it comes to love. As 35+ , intelligent, beautiful, self aware professionals, we sometimes a) just expect interested parties to know how amazing we are and therefore b) it's up to  them to lay all the groundwork, with or without encouragement from our end It's in this light that we decided to lean in when it comes to romantic interests and relationships. Then I stumbled on this video  , an apt reminder, to hold gently and let things flow. Will let you know how it goes.

In the past 1 year , I've put on 10kgs. I know it , as does those around me. The culprit is me and my love of food. I was home, 2 weeks ago, and my weight became the topic of my entire visit. It was annoying. This is what I'd have loved to say to those who pointed this out Dear So and So, You've obviously known me for some time, now that you can remember when I weighed much less than I do now. Guess who was the 1st person to notice the weight gain?Me. You're not telling me something I already don't know . In fact, I would appreciate if you kept this to yourself. See, I'm surrounded by messages of what a failure I am for  being unable to control my appetite,  what my weight should be , how to can get there and how unattractive I am until then. Your well intended comment is one more nail on that coffin. For me and others, please stop. My weight is obviously none of your business, and you don't know what my weight gain/loss journey is like. If ...

My birthday is in 2 days. I'm in awe of how far I've come and is  counting my blessings . I'm grateful for life , this existence that I was thrust into and have had a lot of help navigating. My family are my everyday heros and heroines, I owe them a debt I can never repay. The icing on that cake is motherhood, the scariest thing I've done so far, still learning, still stumbling , still making it up as I go along. My friends, from Fifi, my oldest friend to Charlotte, who I met 4 weeks ago. They have shaped my world in many ways, seen and unseen. Know I'll never cross paths again with most of them. I'm grateful for the times we had. My colleagues, the men and women I was forced to interact with in pursuit of money. We shared many laughs and tears , built, tore  each other ,lent helping and destroying hands. The source of many life's lessons. The others. Who don't and didn't fit neatly into my boxes. Who shared their time, resources,...

Hallo, my name is Waaringa and I'm addicted to reading. I'm the type, on a device, with 10+ tabs open. Even when death was knocking on my door through malaria, I read when I could. Hope heaven has books. My favourite reads for 2017; so far 1) Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi 2) The Prophet  - Khalil Gibran 3) Born a Crime  - Trevor Noah 4) Year of Yes  - Shonda Rhimes

In my network marketing days, the acronym for fear was Fear Evidence Appearing Real. I've read numerous books, articles, watched tens of clips and videos on how to overcome fear and for a minute, I deluded myself  had slayed that dragon. Subconscious wasn't going to let me get away with that.She must have been building her case diligently  behind the scenes and a on a lazy Sunday, while enjoying  doing nothing on my couch , with all my defences down, she shoved  Truth in front of me. As usual, a fight broke out.Truth,Reasoning and Emotions argued for days, hurting Sleep and resurrecting  Sweet Tooth. Emotions is as stubborn.Her concession for defeat was acknowledgement that she had  overcome some fears. Gloatingly rubbing her hands at the hard won victory , Reason  gave a power point presentation that Truth helped her put together; -Fear of drowning -Fear of causing a car accident -Fear of not finding love -Fear of(the prospect) sett...

Actually, one of those weeks. When I have a lot to  smile about and all I want to do is cry The good, bad and ugly occur simultaneously What to do? A dose of pleasure mixed with a portion of frustration topped off with a shot of hope, garnished with fear It is not well I am well My spirit is working overtime to fight this storm The waves of negativity pounding my boat relentlessly Rays of sunshine shoving their way in 'Lean into the discomfort' someone says I don't know how