Weight sex theories


I have put on some weight.
The people commenting most about it are acquaintances and annoyingly, all the reasons they are putting forth(yes, they tell you how big you’ve become and follow it up with the reason behind it)have to do with my sex life.
Starting with the least annoying:
1)Contraceptives-this is usually phrased as’Kana ni famiry iria urahuthira? Is it the family planning method you are using
The proponents of this theory then start discussing the effects of various contraceptives and start casting glances at my upper arms.
2)Sperm-allegedly,sperm makes women put on weight(should google that one) and this has been phrased as’kuna vitu anapatiwa sasa’ there are some things she’s getting now(meaning sperm) followed by’mzee anakupatia sawasawa’Your  man is giving it to you good

3)Are you pregnant?At least all the other theories don’t quite expect a response from me
‘Umekuwa mkubwa!ama hauko peke yako’ You have become so big!Or you are not alone(read pregnant) or ‘hiyo tumbo yako, uko sure haina kitu’Are you sure that is an un-inhabited stomach

**sigh***

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